Goal Flashers World Cup Challenge

How much of a real football fan are you?

Keep a running total of how many you have done - be honest. Then send the score you have to us throught the feedback page. We would love to hear from you if you have any other funny stories around the adventures of watching football!

How many of these have you done?

Pulled a gorgeous girl at a football match, includes watching on the big screen down the pub. But not if you already knew her beforehand!

Pulled a gorgeous girl at a football match, includes watching on the big screen down the pub. But not if you already knew her be. Who still looked gorgeous in the morning.

Took a gorgeous girl to her first ever football match.

Can remember where you was when win England beat germany 5-1 in the FIFA World Cup qualifiers in Germany!

Shed a tear after a England lost on penalties to Argentina or Germany.

Have escaped from a riot outside an England game. Lose points if you started the riot!

Spotted yourself on the bigscreen during a match or in the stadium during a repeat programme on TV. Had the good sense not to wave your hands around like a moron and was able to keep on the screen for longer than a second. As any limelight hogger knows, as soon as the editor knows you know you are on the screen you are off it!

Lied to your partner in order to go to a match.

Finished the England section in a Panini sticker album and didn't bother with any other teams.

Stole a cardboard cut out of Alan Shearer from MacDonalds before the World Cup in 1998. What will the trophy be this year?

Had a row with your spouse because you went to the match instead of doing what they wanted to do.

Touched the ball when it went into the crowd.

Verbally slated one of the England players, only for them to score, good examples of this are Darren Anderton, John Barnes and Emile Heskey. You know the score, England are getting it all wrong, you chirp up, "Why is he in the team?" and 10 minutes later he scores. Still waiting for that to happen for Phil Neville.

Wished all the bald tattooed yobs would piss off and get with the times and stop singing songs about the IRA when on tour with England.

Followed England on a trip abroad (double points if you wore a England shirt in a brothel).

Met a crazy foreigner who is proud to have an England player in his local team. Good places to start here are Marseille thanks to Chris Waddle's successful spell.

Had a drink with an England player or ex-player. Paul Gascoigne doesnt count (some may say, cant count), unless you were sharing a beer in China.

Become an official member of the FA supporters club.

Watched a match with the away fans.

Bought the three lions CD by Baddiel and Skinner, twice.

Bought a ticket off a tout for more than double the face value.

Joined in the song "You Can Stick Yer Fucking Tickets Up Yer Arse, You Can Stick Yer Fucking Tickets Up Yer Arse, You Can Stick Yer Fucking Tickets, Stick Yer Fucking Tickets, Stick Yer Fucking Tickets Up Yer Arse!", a hilarious throng of pissed off supporters looking for spare tickets, for whom 200 euro was deemed too expensive for a black market ticket.

Gone to see the England under 21s play at home.

Gone to see the England under 21s play away from home.

Been to every home qualifying game in for the 2006 World Cup.

Invested in a England tattoo.

Hugged a complete stranger after England scored.

Skived off work/school to watch a football match.

Queued up for more than 2 hours to buy a ticket for a football match.

Was at the 1966 final between West Germany and England at Wembley.

Watched the football results come in on the TV in a shop window.

Bought England players when you managed a Fantasy League team even though you knew they wouldn't help you score points.

Refused to go to a friend's wedding because it was on a matchday.

Had a football dream about playing football for England.

Met your own football hero and was too shy to say anything to them.

Bribed a turnstile operator to let you into an all-ticket game.

Been in the Executive or Director's box and carried on as if you were still on the terraces.

Climbed something to watch a match from outside the ground.

Put a poster of your favourite team on your wall at home or work.

Put a calendar of babes on your wall at home or work.

Never left a match before hearing the final whistle.

Written something for a fanzine.

Followed a match's progress for the entire 90 minutes on Teletext

Followed a match's progress on the internet minute by minute commentary.

Shamelessly convinced a young and impressionable relative that they should support your club.

Converted a girlfriend to support your football club.

Driven to another part of the country to listen to a match on local radio.

Watched England on the telly or listened on the radio while shagging.

Seen the Film "Escape to Victory" at least 3 times.

Been ejected from a ground or pub during a match.

Have never been arrested at a football match.

Stayed up all night drinking after a famous victory - a draw would also suffice. You have to drown your sorrows, so a defeat will do too!

Taken a piece of terracing or turf as a souvenir.

Been involved in a pitch invasion.

Stripped naked at a football match.

Scored a goal for England in "Subbuteo".

Deliberately lost if you are playing as germany in any football game, FIFA, Pro Evo soccer etc.

Started the singing in the crowd during a game and its spread all round the ground or pub.

Smashed something in anger after a heinous defeat.

Copied a player's haircut - lose a point if it was David Seaman, Owen Hargreaves or Rio Ferdinands "predator / snoop dogg" dreadlock head.

Visited Wembley during the close season.

Watching a match in fancy dress .

Had sex at a football stadium (bashing the bishop in the toilet does not count!)

Fallen out with a best friend or close relative over club rivalry.

Put one of those shite club windscreen stickers in your car.

Stood in an unprotected part of the ground in the pissing rain for 90 minutes.

Asked your partner to wear an England shirt, or your local team during sex.

Successfully explained the offside rule to someone who doesn't have a clue.

Been to at least half the League grounds in the country.

Can name the entire England Euro 2004 squad from memory.

Relayed a top comedy anecdote about an England manger.

Phoned a football radio call-in show.

Watched all 90 minutes of the 1966 World Cup Final on video, then rewound it to watch it again.

Applied for a job at the F.A. (double points if its the manager's job)

Parked illegally outside the ground to make sure you got in, in time for kick-off.

Dressed your girlfriend, a pet or a baby in the club's colours for a photo.

Posed as a footballer in order to have sex with a bird.

Bought "World in Motion", the New Order anthemic single from 1988. Get tingles down the back of your neck just thinking about hearing it and imagining Owens wonder goal against Argentina and dreaming of Wayne Rooney running through the Brazil defence.

Sounded an air horn at a match.

Had a kickaround at the service station on an away trip.

Waited outside the player's entrance to get autographs.

Paid way over the odds for a classic match programme.

Dont forget to send us the score you have!